God is Awesome

First of all, sorry for the long hiatus I took from writing. I am two weeks into my final semester of my Undergraduate career and it has been crazy. This one is going to be short and sweet.

Growing up under good teaching both in church and from my parents has helped me to learn many of the right answers about life and God. I can tell you that God is sovereign and in control. I can explain election and predestination… a little I can discuss the importance of community and close relationships.  Thankfully, time and time again God brings me to a place where my “theology” runs smack into my life. It puts me into places where I question the way I actually live and think about God. For example, when the doctrine of God’s sovereignty collided with my life some 29 weeks ago I was forced to look at my heart. I had to decide if my decision to continue to purposefully not have kids was in fact trusting God’s sovereignty and glorifying him. After some prayer and seeking God, Tabitha and I decided that we were not trusting God with this part of our life. So, ultimately we are now 29 weeks pregnant and once again God brought another bit of my theology to collide with what I know about God and how I act accordingly. For 22 years I have been hearing about how God provides for his children. And for 22 years he definitely has provided for me. Even as Tabitha and I pursued God’s leading in our lives to get married at the ripe old age of 19, we saw him provide in ways that blew our minds. But things in my own head took a drastic change when I started thinking about providing for a baby. Part of the struggle was me fighting against what our culture said we needed and what I thought we needed. I confess I began to worry about how I would provide. I remember starting the registry process for baby showers and being overwhelmed by prices and what everybody (believers included) said we “needed.” I remember spending some significant time about a month ago praying asking God to calm my heart and to help me trust in him and him alone. Over the next few days God gave me peace and helped me to trust that he would indeed take care of me and my family. Now God didn’t give me a big raise (in fact my income continues to slowly lower). I didn’t win the lottery the next week either…although you have to play the lottery to win it
No, kept me dependent and showed me more of how the church should work. About 20 minutes ago I walked into our babies room I looked around.  Let me tell you what I saw.  I saw all kinds of toys, mats to play on, and other things to play with. I saw a baby bath, and a bouncer seat. I see madela breast pump and piles of blankets, burp cloths, and other linens. I open up the dresser and see clothes for newborns, 3-6 m, and even a few 6-12 m things. I see a crib and a matching changing table/dresser. Tabitha and I have not spent a dime on any of this. Most of it is from fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, and a few things are from my coworkers. I have watched God provide all if this and I gladly give him all of the credit.

I praise you God for working in my heart to trust you in this. I praise you for working in the hearts of others to hold on to things loosely and to remember that everything we have is really yours. Lord I do ask that you would continue to bring me to times and places where I am challenged to live the way your scriptures call me to. May my family continue to trust in you for everything!  We have way more than we need God, please forgive me for my lack of trust!

Spiritual Warrior

As God continues to grow me in my walk with him, I am becoming continually more aware of the war that we as Christians are in.  We constantly are fighting the world, our own flesh, and satan and his demons as we seek to grow and advance the name of Christ.  I don’t know about you, but the thought of war excites me.  I am not sure if it is just the way that God made me, or if most men are like this, but I am a sucker for war.  War is all over scriptures and we see the armor of God as something we need to put on.   Lately I have been thinking about being a Spiritual Warrior for my family and friends.  To start understanding this picture, I first started with what a warrior is and what are his responsibilities.  As a husband and soon to be father I naturally started thinking about a warrior/leader.  Someone who is responsible not only for himself but for those under his keeping.  So here are some of the things that I came up with.

A Warrior…
Prepares:

Personal training comes to mind.  He has to be trained not only in his weapons, but how war works.  He has to learn his enemy and their tactics.

The training of those under him is also his responsible.  An effective warrior/leader trains those under him to be ready for war.

The warrior also plans.  He must know the goal or purpose of the war.  Without this he will be lost and broken.  The purpose does not have to be complex, nor does he have to know the ins and outs of it, but ultimately he must “Fight for the King.”

Protects:

A good warrior and leader knows how to protect his troops and his land.  He must learn to protect them from not only the attacks from the outside, but also from the inside.

He also must know how to protect his troops from discouragement and despair.

Leads:

This may seem obvious, but a good leader must know and purposely lead his troops.

He must lead them by example in camp (through his training and how he lives his life)

He must lead them into battle.  He must know how to inspire his troops, give them hope, and fight right along side them.

So how does this translate into being a spiritual warrior?  This is my favorite part.

Preparation:

Personal Training: This would be the spiritual disciplines.  This has been a good reminder for me, because I am easily tempted into laziness.  But when I understand what is truly at stake, when I understand there truly are casualties in this war…wow…that sure does open my mind.

Training Others: Discipleship…Discipleship…Discipleship.  Oh if people truly understood the war that we are in, and that training up the next generation of troops is essential for the cause.

Plan:

Planning should probably come before the training section…oops   Without a plan and an understanding of our war, training becomes empty.  Till we understand the Gospel, and Gods mettanarrative in which he is drawing nations to himself, we will be left fighting a war we don’t understand and don’t really care about.  Praise God for the cross and his grace in our lifes.  Praise God that he is all about his own glory, and that he has chosen to enlist some of us in his army to reclaim worship from the entire world

Leads:

Lead by example.  At home, at church, in my neighborhood, and at work I have to lead my brothers and sisters in Christ by example.  Praise God that I am not left to do this on my own strength, but that God’s grace through the cross is not only pardon, but power to walk in truth.

Leads in battle.  This is really all of the above.  The battle is at home, at church, in my neighborhood, and at work.  The battle is growing my family, evangelizing the lost, fighting my flesh, and living in continual repentence.

Inspire/Give Hope.  Once again, this hope is not in who I am nor in the mission itself.  The hope that I give my family and brothers and sisters in Christ comes through pointing them back to Jesus and his glorious cross.  Without this I am nothing.  I am alive because of Christ!!

Anyways….just some fun thoughts.  I am praying that God would make me into a spiritual warrior for my family and those in my life.  But I also pray that as God as called me to lead in certain areas, that I will be willing and able to be a humble servant leader that is open to correction.  I want to leave you men with little quote from John Piper that has had me thinking lately and also a question as well.

This is Piper talking about the role of a husband.

A famous cigarette billboard pictures a curly-headed, bronze-faced, muscular
macho with a cigarette hanging out the side of his mouth. The sign says,
“Where a man belongs.” That is a lie. Where a man belongs is at the bedside of
his children, leading in devotion and prayer. Where a man belongs is leading his
family to the house of God. Where a man belongs is up early and alone with
God seeking vision and direction for his family.

This has given me much to think about, but here is my question mostly for you married men, but anyone else is welcome to comment.

What does it mean in Ephesians 5 when it talks about our role in sanctifying our wives by washing them with with the water of the word?  What does that mean for you, how do as husbands carry this out in your family?

Thanks for all of you that read all of this.  Love you dearly, and may you be continually reminded of the cross of Christ and his grace, love, and power.

Ryan

Answered Prayer!

You know that saying, be careful what you pray for. Well I was reminded of that saying today.

Lately I have been struck by how easily I look to other people’s wisdom and other books before I ever think to come to God. When I am struggling to understand something, or I am feeling discouraged or upset, my tendency is to talk to someone, whether it be my wife or one of my friends instead of laying my thoughts and feelings at Christ’s feet. I remember praying this past week that God would really drive me to scriptures. My desire was and is to be driven to God first in prayer and in scripture during times of need, and unfortunately I don’t always do this. Well this morning God answered my prayer. From the moment I woke up, I remember feeling downcast and discouraged. Last night we had a great night of fellowship and I had no understandable reason to despair. From about 4:30 this morning till about 9 am I worked and just felt oppressed and discouraged about life. Everything I thought about was discouraging from “wow, I have been really undisciplined lately,” to “I am sick and tired of pride in my heart and life.” Now these things that I thought are actually good indicators of my heart, and I praise God for bringing some of this things to my mind, but in the end I was really wallowing in my “failures.” Nothing I could do, say, or think would shake these heavy and weighty feelings.  At about 9 am I was able to take about a 15 minute break and I ran out to my car and grabbed my bible. I was hungering for truth, and healing and it was really such beautiful feeling of “there is nothing that I would rather do than spend time with God in prayer and scriptures.” For some reason I happened to open my bible straight to Psalm 32. It was a beautiful reminder of God’s grace in my life through Jesus Christ. As I read through it I was just struck with the message of the gospel that I needed to hear. Then Psalm 33 is an amazing Psalm of praise that helped me worship God and give him all the glory.

I planned on blogging about marriage due to all the weddings as of late, but I can’t help but leave it at this.

“Shout for joy in the Lord, O you righteous. Praise befits the upright. Give thanks to the Lord with the lyre; make melody to him with the harp of ten strings! Sing to him a new song; play skillfully on the strings, with loud shouts. For the word of the Lord is upright and all his work is done in faithfulness.” -Psalms 33:1-4

Thank you Lord for driving me to yourself and your word! Thank you that you answer prayer, and that i need not despair, for I am redeemed!!!

Godly Ambition…?

For a long time, the word ambition had a very negative connotation in my life.  It usually communicated self-worth, pride, and sometimes was linked with materialism.  It is funny, because whenever my co-workers ask me what my hopes, dreams, and ambitions for life are, I don’t talk about working my way up the corporate ladder.  I could care less about hitting the 6 figure job.  Usually, my co-workers just don’t understand where my heart is coming from.  They think I want to work in full time ministry so I can have an easy job that pays good money.  When honestly, these reasons couldn’t be further from the truth.  In fact, I am a very ambitious man.  I am starting to see this in many different ways in my life.   For example, I long for my family and friends to truly understand the gospel.  My heart yearns for people to understand sin and the grace that comes through the cross.  I long for people around me, those that I love, to truly worship God with their lives.  Nothing excites me more than investing in people, and I can see that the Holy Spirit has helped them “get it.”  I praise God when I see younger men and women realize the weight of scriptures and that God’s word changes the way they live.  I am often reminded of the joy that doctrine brings to my life.  One of my favorite pastors Matt Chandler put it this way “Right doctrine stirs the affections of the soul.”  I love how right doctrine spurs people to worship.  So yes…I have ambition, and often it is godly.

Unfortunately, due to a combined effort of my flesh and satan…my ambition can often be misplaced.  It is to easy sometimes to have an passion for myself to be known, rather than for Him to be known.  This, my friends is a very ungodly and sinful ambition that I struggle with sometimes.  Praise God that he brings it to my mind and reminds me through his word.

My prayer is that we would have a mountain sized ambition – an ambition for people to know God and worship Him, and may we all continue to point people away from ourselves and to the Lord Almighty. I pray that we would lean on God for our strenghth and power.  As 1 Corintions 1:18 says , “For the word of the cross is folly to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.”     I am on a mission to reclaim worship from the entire world.  How is that for ambition!

As I continue to think about how I will do this blog faithfully and honestly, my goal (lightly held) is going to be to write an entry once a week.  This will most likely be on a sunday for those of you who are wanting to read this regularily.  It would also be fun, if any of you have comments or questions about things I write, or about life in general that I could respond to.  Thanks for all of you who will be reading in the future.  Well, I am off to bed with my lovely pregnant wife

My First Blog Entry

So, this idea came to me today at work while I was in the middle of hauling 70 8ft tables from the ballroom to the storeroom (yes, my forearms are sore). I have a lot of friends, family, and other loved ones, and there are not enough hours in the day to keep you all up to date with my life. This was the first time I actually thought about starting a blog. As I thought about it some more, I realized that this would be a good place to share where I am at life, what God is teaching me, and just share a piece of me with all those that I love. I was also reminded of how little time I spend actually slowing down to think about all of these things. So this is the first of many entries that will enable me to slow down and look at what God is doing in my life. I hope that this is a good way to reveal a little bit of my heart to those who don’t always get to hear it.